The First 21 Pages in My Notebook, Itemized and with minimal commentary

1) Books I've read from 2-12-12 to 2-17-12
           (equal to four)
2) 20 Lines of Iambic Pentameter
           (Actual lines: 10)
3) List of unfinished books
           (Eight)
4) List of attributed quotations
           (Instances of my own poorly written poetry: 1)
5) Culture for Pigeons
           (what?)
6) [redacted]
7) The Pros and Cons of Boise, Idaho
           (Mostly revolves around coffee)
8) A list of words I didn't know
           (Words I still don't know from said list: all of them)
9) Training ideas
           (Includes 15 separate campus exercises)
10) Blank
11) Blank
12) Blue prints for death trap campus board
           (Injuries incurred: 1)
13) Poorly written prose
           (Hand writing declines with increased alcohol consumption)
14) Says 'Art Deco' and 'Pretty fits an all', repeatedly.
15) "I hope somewhere some woman hears my music and it helps her through her day"
           (I do not make music)
16) List of tips for reading Latin
           (1. identify the verb)
17) Uncategorizable
           (Excerpt: "Riding some [redacted] big wheels through the Chelsea Hotel.)
18) "A game where you get to be a boulder"
            (what?)
19) "I've been jotting a lot: Last 5 headlines of journal entries."
20) High Fashion Hyperbole
           (Includes only doodles of eggplants and the words "Male Terror")
21) Poorly written poetry
           (Please note: written earnestly.)
           (Excerpt: I'll not be your new font)
22) More of the same, really.

Rodents

This post marks a change in the tone of this blog. All climbing related posts will be found here: www.mammutathleteteam.com. This is now stream of consciousness, and any other implications are unintended.

Q: Where do otters live?

A: Otter space
    (This is, of course, and Anne Carson joke. I can take no credit)

Q: What do you call a cereal made of rodents?

A: Honey bunches of stoats

Q: What do you call a brave rodent?

A: stoatic 

Q: What do you call someone who is deathly afraid of rats?
A: IrRATional

Q: How far did the boat full of bad otters have to go to afraid the Coast Guard?
A: A nau-ottercal mile.
(This, also is not mine. Thank you, Peter Erard)

Q: What do you call a rebel rodent?
A: A con-ferret.
(Shannon, I believe this was yours...)

Q: What did people say about the ermine who was sailing around the world?
A: He's otter his mind!
Q: What was his response?
A: No way, it's stoatally awesome!
(Also Shannon's)

Bonus Jams!

What Your Sidewalk Shoveling Technique Says About Your Personality

Photo: Spenser Tang-Smith from The RV Proj

Sidewalk And Half The Yard: This is the first time you've seen snow. You grew up in San Diego, and went to school in Hawai'i. You moved to CO/UT/WY for the adventure. You've seen more than your share of Westerns.

Single Shoveled Line: Single parent. You and your kids all had toaster waffles for breakfast. Store brand too, so your kids will learn 'values'. 

Slanted Shovel Marks: I can't figure out what that means, because I can't figure out how one would make this pattern so precise in such a difficult medium. 

Hasn't Been Touched: It's Tuesday morning and you're stoned. Really stoned. Like haven't even looked out the window yet today. You have some chance of upgrading to one of the other techniques sometime later this afternoon. Probably after snacks.

Path From The Front Door To The Car: You're probably really busy. Way too busy to deal with things like shoveling all of the snow. Chances are good you did it wearing house slippers before changing into shoes that are worth more than my last paycheck. Fuck you, seriously, fuck you.

Snow Blower That Ends At Some Arbitrary Property Line: You either own your own landscaping company, or you are very conservative. You wore your best lined Carhart pants for this. You never come to any of the neighborhood picnics because the 20 something parents are always scowling at your NRA long sleeves. 

Single Set Of Boot Prints: You are probably depressed from the way your heels drag. The snow weighs heavy on your mind. It's tax season. Your ex-girlfriend is getting married. You haven't been to the doctor in years. 

Patterned, Perhaps Artistically: You have the ability to think for yourself. You probably do not pay much heed to the local HOA. Or maybe you have precocious toddlers who are into 'housework'. 

Neurotically Cleared: You are my father. Your kids will feel slightly resentful towards you every time it snows for many years. 

Thoughts Had While Updating 8a.nu Scorecard

Photo blatantly stolen from Kyle O'Meara

-Why don't I just keep up with this? Oh right, the website format sucks.

-Man, I hope Kyle O'Meara doesn't see this. Or this blog. Maybe Kyle O related guilt means I shouldn't do it? Whatever. I probably think too much.

-#2 female? That doesn't sound right. No one looks at that any way. It's not like Angie/AJ has a scorecard. What am I doing here any way? 8a.nu, making climbing even more masturbatory.

-2nd go. Should have flashed.

-I remember having so much fun writing comments for ascents. Something changed.

-Do people actually dislike 8a, or do they just love to hate it? These are the questions we need to ask. Hate-logging, is that a thing?

-This hoodie reeks. Time for laundry again.

-I wonder if there is a correlation between the amount of Buffy the Vampire Slayer I watch and the difficulty of boulders climbed. I'd like to see a graph.

-I wonder if Jens will put me on the home page for this.

-Somewhere I have a list of potential 8a.nu comments...

-I wonder if my finger still hurts?

-There are words in comments whose meanings I don't even remember. Is climbing destroying my ability to learn?

-All of that aside, I think I actually enjoy 8a. I keep coming back. I just wish Jens would make an iphone app.

The last 6 places I've showered, ranked.

alix cleo roubaud

My last 6 shower experiences, ranked from best to worst.

Cousin's house, Oakland, CA
the good: Private bathroom. Actually kind of relaxing to take a shower. I'm borrowing a towel, full sized and everything. So that's awesome. And the bathroom is warm even after exiting the safety of the curtain.

the bad: Sometimes worried about using too much hot water. The bottom of the tub is super slick too,
kinda dangerous with shaky post workout legs.


Uncle's house, Portland, OR
the good: Good water pressure, shampoo, conditioner. I think the last person to use the shower was all into 'healthy hair' so I took advantage of that and tried all the shampoos.

the bad: Kind of afraid of breaking something or like clogging the drain. And their house had too many facets. It probably had 20 water dispensing devices. I was too bothered by this to throughly enjoy the shower experience.


Seattle Bouldering Project, Seattle, WA
the good: Just a shower, nothing special. Expect that I went in during the SBP comp after party, and was immediately handed a beer. The shower beer helped a lot. As did the whole after party experience.

the bad: I don't remember if there was any down side to this shower. But I think I was more into the experience surrounding the shower than the shower itself.


Planet Granite, Sunnyvale, CA
the good: This shower had curtains, too. And I remember to use the handicapped one, so that helped. And free shampoo and conditioner.

the bad: Nothing about this shower was awful, or fantastic. It was just a shower. Nothing special.


Curry Village, Yosemite Valley, CA
the good: it was hot, like really hot. didn't have to worry about running out of hot water either. Free, too.

the bad: public restroom, but there were curtains involved, so that helped. For some reason I never brought clean clothes to change into, so I felt that negated some of the shower cleanliness.


Cabin #3, Redwood Cabins, CA
the good: It had all the basic makings of a shower. Like water, and, um, a drain.

the bad: Probably one of the least fulfilling showers I have ever taken, except that I really needed it. More of a faucet than a shower, which kinda made sense, 'cause the sink didn't have much of a faucet.

Chris Sinatra: A life examined.

This is Topher.  Ghost. Owl.

This is Topher taking a photo.

This is Topher preparing to Instagram

This is Topher taking a photo of Half Dome

This is Topher taking a photo of water

This is another photo of Topher taking a photo of Half Dome

Here, I took a photo of Topher taking a photo of a camera taking a photo of Half Dome

I feel that the last picture validates the six preceding it. 

Ode to Car-bed

Here in my world cave outside is slow and safe. My dugout of a car insulates me against the foreboding cold of twilight. My smallness is secondary to my thoughts, my stillness beats out my fears, and mountains magnified in the morning are of no consequence, quiescent at night. When I retire to car-bed I become a shadow piece, free of personality and fret—feeling only triumph over that act of living past another day.

Indogtrination

I'm starting to hate these kinds of jokes,,,

mouth to mouth bacon

"How, I am not quite sure, but 'different', as the animal with the touch of human hands about him when he returns to the herd" --Sylvia Plath

The Dangers of Transient Friends

It's about time to leave Squamish. It's hard to leave, and most of me doesn't want to. But the rain might be coming, and I want to go before I have to, so as to feel some fire to return.

What follows is something of a photo recap accented by little bits of thoughts that were slow enough to catch.

Selena on what is perhaps the best V2 in Squamish

Topher Sinatra looking relaxed on Frontside (V12)

Most nights here have that half-drunk feeling of deep-set fatigue, the kind that cradles you when you close your eyes.

Drifting away from Pemberton

Working out beta is like planting seeds in the holds and waiting for rain. Someday something might take root. The most efficient way to do a move neither declares, nor does it hide, rather it sets forth clues. But sometimes boulders are just done with bad beta and the group follows blindly- much like Pine Processionaries straddling a thread. This is both the struggle and the draw.

Paul and Terry skipping first base

"this is called being a professional"

Reckoning Stand (V10) (credit: Selena Wong)

For months, I huddled pathetically on some sunwarmed rock, and hoped that fall was just around the corner. Yesterday I was the vanguard, at the cutting edge of the season. I set out to climb and instead caught Fall. I have become sensitive to the changing seasons, and long wanted to be on the spot for the revolution, and raise a flag pole in the grass saying "here" and "now". 

Happiness is the most friends (credit: Selena Wong)

Unrealistic expectations with the Sea to Sky Sirens (credit: Selena Wong)

The edges of the days

This blog post heavily relied on this woman: Annie Dillard.

Best Day Yet: Everything is beautiful and nothing hurts

Days with Charlie the deaf dog:

Rest days spent in showers, near laundry, changing operating systems. It's roller derby recovery day, shins more sore than ever. Not chin hits like on top outs, but like shin hits on slabs. Supportive grrls everywhere, laughing at boulders, drooling on top out holds, ass rockets on roller skates and slam poems on repeat. Things are looking up in my little world.

It's a cold sun day. Began with Reckoning(V10) recon, then to Sir Le Twat (V12). Ended the day with some El Camino Madness (V8). Gibson on the stereo, and I'm spending the day trying to channel what ever it is she channels. First world genesis, can't stop thinking about those roaring kodiak bears we all live upon, it's the salmon coloured sunsets, you know.

Paul Nadler on Sir Le Twat (V12)

Working Frontside (V12) [thanks Collin]

Home

Collin's Kitchen

grrrrls

I climb boulder problems with weird names so I will sound deep when I blog about them.

Rest day dilemmas

As a general rule, I'm pretty into bouldering, but some days a body just needs a rest. So a rest day it is, and everything that includes. When Collin was here we were climbing every other day, one on, one off, so rest days were spent support each other in the forest. But now that he has returned to Colorado I'm reduced to entertaining myself.

Today, I have spent no time doing anything physical. I've sat in two different chairs, one couch, and many different spots outside, trying to poach internet. Terry put it pretty well this morning: sometimes it's nice to have four walls and a seat back, no matter how good the climbing is. Fact is, I feel pretty good physically, but I am bored out of my mind. 

It's so appealing to head into the forest and circuit on easy slabs, but given the amount of J-Tree climbing Salve I have applied today (both to my fingers and to my keyboard) I don't think it's a great idea to climb at all.

So, rest days include what? Lots of tumblr, sizeable amounts of facebook, more youtube than I care to mention, and a cursory attempt at self promotion. Seriously, I even updated my instagram. 

Enough of that.

This week in Squamish:
-Day flash of Black Slabbath(V7) by Chris Sinatra
-Impressive last-go-best-go effort on the same by Paul Nadler
-Amazing blackberry pie at the Savage-Hunter household
-Lizzy Asher killing it on everything all the time
-Sore abs and fatigued facial muscles from a mean laughing/smiling exercise routine
-My own 'and-you've-climbed-how-hard?' 'scents of Sesame Street(v9), Ramen Raw(v7), ATD(v7) and the Fuzz(v7)
-More 'and-you've-climbed-how-hard?' punts and failures on No Troublems(v9/10), Mr. Bigglesworth(v10), Big Chicken(v9/10), and a slew of others
-Fine weather, no rain, and few complaints about conditions


In summation:
"You invent nothing, you think you are inventing, you think you are escaping, and all you do is stammer out your lesson." -Samuel Beckett, Molloy

Listling: Top Ten

Ten things I look forward to blogging about:

1) Pros and cons of top ten lists

2) Reviews of classic boulder problems

3) Reviews of not so classic boulder problems

4) Assessment of the relevancy of Facebook status updates

5) Aches, pains and tweaks: a guide

6) Top ten 'Top Ten' lists

7) "Air-quotes"

8) Review of specific bouldering grades

9) [undecided]

10) Pros and cons of blogging

To conclude:

"Lines slip easily down the accustomed grooves. The old designs are copied so glibly that we are half inclined to think them original, save for that very glibness."

-Virginia Woolf, Letter to a Young Poet

Squamish: A return to the forest

I'm in Squamish, and enjoying the forest, processing movement over granite again. It's fun. Fun, definitely the right word for it.

I left Thursday, August 16th from Denver, Colorado. Would have left earlier, but was convinced to spot Rylan Marshall on Phobos (V11, Lincoln Lake). He sent, making the day worth it.

Picked up a hitchhiker in Wyoming. Sav. She was on the way to help a friend birth a child. We talked about this. Together, we drove to Livingston, Montana. I dropped her off in a trailer park, and continued on to the parking lot of a Comfort Inn.

Next day: Seattle, Washington. Stopped in a great used bookstore in Albertson, Montana on the way. It was advertised on the side of the highway, and completely worth a stop. Seemed abandoned, almost. Arrived in Seattle around 9 pm. Slept at Mercedes & Brenda's apartment. Their couch was wonderful, highly recommended. Went to Gold Bar the following afternoon, climbed on the Camp Serene and Beach boulders. Amazing. I found myself stuck on top of a boulder, for the first (and I hope last) time. Contemplated jumping into the river, onto a crashpad. Ended up sliding off, which was good, because Merc's camera stopped working. It's important to document these things.

Freshly psyched from the Gold Bar experience (very much looking forward to returning), Merc, Brenda and I left early to get a full day of bouldering in the Squamish forest. This is my third time in Squamish, and there are a few boulders I can't help but feel giddy when I try. It's great to be back and running laps on Summer Vacation (V0) and Cheese Grater (V1).

Collin Horvat  arrived that night. We spent the next day running around the forest, seeking out (and in his case, sending) top 100 boulder problems. Collin made quick work of Summer Vacation, Skin Graft (V4), Double Decker (V3), The Viper (V5), Left Rib (V2), Hoop Wrangler (V5), Be On Four (V7, flash), No Troublems (V10), Worm World Cave (V9), Trad Killer (V4) and Heartbreak Hotel (V2). I either sent or repeated about a third of these. Suffice it to say that Collin had a good day.

August 21st, day 2 in the forest: Collin and I were feeling a little beater after the previous day, but I wanted to do some crimping after all the slabs and slopers. Collin (selflessly, as it is involved) spotted me on Frontside. After some doing, I managed to basically do all the moves but the crux, a long cross off of a bad right hand sloping pinch. The fall from this move proves that the name is apt.

In conclusion:

Vladimir: That passed the time.
Estragon: It would have passed in any case.
Vladimir: Yes, but not so rapidly.

-Samuel Beckett, Waiting for Godot