Rodents

This post marks a change in the tone of this blog. All climbing related posts will be found here: www.mammutathleteteam.com. This is now stream of consciousness, and any other implications are unintended.

Q: Where do otters live?

A: Otter space
    (This is, of course, and Anne Carson joke. I can take no credit)

Q: What do you call a cereal made of rodents?

A: Honey bunches of stoats

Q: What do you call a brave rodent?

A: stoatic 

Q: What do you call someone who is deathly afraid of rats?
A: IrRATional

Q: How far did the boat full of bad otters have to go to afraid the Coast Guard?
A: A nau-ottercal mile.
(This, also is not mine. Thank you, Peter Erard)

Q: What do you call a rebel rodent?
A: A con-ferret.
(Shannon, I believe this was yours...)

Q: What did people say about the ermine who was sailing around the world?
A: He's otter his mind!
Q: What was his response?
A: No way, it's stoatally awesome!
(Also Shannon's)

Bonus Jams!

What Your Sidewalk Shoveling Technique Says About Your Personality

Photo: Spenser Tang-Smith from The RV Proj

Sidewalk And Half The Yard: This is the first time you've seen snow. You grew up in San Diego, and went to school in Hawai'i. You moved to CO/UT/WY for the adventure. You've seen more than your share of Westerns.

Single Shoveled Line: Single parent. You and your kids all had toaster waffles for breakfast. Store brand too, so your kids will learn 'values'. 

Slanted Shovel Marks: I can't figure out what that means, because I can't figure out how one would make this pattern so precise in such a difficult medium. 

Hasn't Been Touched: It's Tuesday morning and you're stoned. Really stoned. Like haven't even looked out the window yet today. You have some chance of upgrading to one of the other techniques sometime later this afternoon. Probably after snacks.

Path From The Front Door To The Car: You're probably really busy. Way too busy to deal with things like shoveling all of the snow. Chances are good you did it wearing house slippers before changing into shoes that are worth more than my last paycheck. Fuck you, seriously, fuck you.

Snow Blower That Ends At Some Arbitrary Property Line: You either own your own landscaping company, or you are very conservative. You wore your best lined Carhart pants for this. You never come to any of the neighborhood picnics because the 20 something parents are always scowling at your NRA long sleeves. 

Single Set Of Boot Prints: You are probably depressed from the way your heels drag. The snow weighs heavy on your mind. It's tax season. Your ex-girlfriend is getting married. You haven't been to the doctor in years. 

Patterned, Perhaps Artistically: You have the ability to think for yourself. You probably do not pay much heed to the local HOA. Or maybe you have precocious toddlers who are into 'housework'. 

Neurotically Cleared: You are my father. Your kids will feel slightly resentful towards you every time it snows for many years. 

Thoughts Had While Updating 8a.nu Scorecard

Photo blatantly stolen from Kyle O'Meara

-Why don't I just keep up with this? Oh right, the website format sucks.

-Man, I hope Kyle O'Meara doesn't see this. Or this blog. Maybe Kyle O related guilt means I shouldn't do it? Whatever. I probably think too much.

-#2 female? That doesn't sound right. No one looks at that any way. It's not like Angie/AJ has a scorecard. What am I doing here any way? 8a.nu, making climbing even more masturbatory.

-2nd go. Should have flashed.

-I remember having so much fun writing comments for ascents. Something changed.

-Do people actually dislike 8a, or do they just love to hate it? These are the questions we need to ask. Hate-logging, is that a thing?

-This hoodie reeks. Time for laundry again.

-I wonder if there is a correlation between the amount of Buffy the Vampire Slayer I watch and the difficulty of boulders climbed. I'd like to see a graph.

-I wonder if Jens will put me on the home page for this.

-Somewhere I have a list of potential 8a.nu comments...

-I wonder if my finger still hurts?

-There are words in comments whose meanings I don't even remember. Is climbing destroying my ability to learn?

-All of that aside, I think I actually enjoy 8a. I keep coming back. I just wish Jens would make an iphone app.